


A Series of I Love You's

by Pleasekeepthecalm



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Mid split, Sad Fluff, Sad kinda, Shmoopy (?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pleasekeepthecalm/pseuds/Pleasekeepthecalm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are confusing and painful and lovely all at once. Little bit of angst, some fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Series of I Love You's

Their flight home from New York lands early, which is almost unheard of. Spencer has leaned up against him the whole flight holding his hand and reading along with his E-book over his shoulder. Ryan and Jon are on the other side of the plane and Brendon tries not to think about them. It makes his stomach swoop and his throat feel tight. Spencer squeezes his hand. 

When the plane touches down Brendon carefully unhooks their fingers and steers Spencer towards the isle of the plane with a hand on his hip. His eyelids are violet and sleepy, his hair greasy as ever. Brendon lingers on the thought of how much he loves him, and then passes him his laptop case from the carry on compartment. They leave without saying a word to Jon or Ryan, and Brendon's heart hurts. 

The ride home takes entirely too long. Spencer wears one of Brendon's hoodies that's just a bit too snug, and holds his hand tightly. Brendon says a quiet "love you" and Spencer just smiles and taps back his "I love you too" on the backs of Brendon's fingers. Spencer plays with the strings of Brendon's hoodie, "Mm sleepy" he mumbles, trying and failing to get closer to Brendon. He only nods, and glances at Spencer quickly "Do you think they'll call?". "I don't know" Spencer says, but he ducks his head and frowns, and Brendon grips the wheel tighter. 

When they get home Spencer goes to shower immediately, and Brendon starts laundry. Spencer always forgets to wash his clothes before he showers. He finds little love notes he gave Spencer from the tour tucked in all his pants pockets. He stacks them up carefully and leaves them by the coffee pot for him to find later, leaving them as a collection, as another I love you. When Spencer's done he pads out to the living room in a towel and kisses Brendon quickly. All Brendon can think about is hiding away in Spencer's blue eyes forever, where everything is crystal clear and safe, and not like it is right now. 

Brendon finishes sorting their laundry, showers, and sorts the laundry again. He does dishes, feeds the dog, rearranges the coffee table drawers. It's midnight and no one has called. He taps his foot against the floor and and pinches the fabric of his sweatpants. "Bren" he looks up and Spencer is in the hall wearing an oversized T shirt, with messy hair and bags under his eyes. There's a vague sense of wonder, he's always so beautiful, and then Spencer's crossing the room. "Brendon, they're not going to call. Come to bed, it's late" Spencer touches his lips to Brendon's temple, the corner of his mouth. "Come to bed" he repeats, and Brendon complies this time, feeling like he's going to come apart. 

Spencer holds the covers up for him, and tucks him in like he's a little kid, crawling in beside him afterwards. Spencer strokes at his hair for awhile. "I don't think they're ever going to call again" he finally whispers, holding Brendon tight against him. Brendon thinks he's right, but doesn't want to, and it shows in the few tears that hit the pillowcase. "I love you" is all Brendon can manage in his pathetic, cracked voice. "I love you too, Always" he thinks Spencer might be crying too. 

When Brendon wakes up the room is bright and cold. Spencer is still asleep next to him. His hair is sticking straight up in a strange dollop-y shape, with short curls swirling around his temples. His freckles mark numerous trails across his cheeks and nose, and the pink and purple veins of his eyelids are paling, but still on show. Brendon looks at him for awhile while he sleeps, savoring the love and affection in him that's always blooming for Spencer. 

When Spencer finally wakes up its with sleepy confused blinks and rumbling groans asking why Brendon is so far away. Brendon holds him tight and kisses across his forehead. He doesn't want them to call he thinks, even though it's a lie. He has Spencer and he thinks, a little wildly that that could be enough. That's all he could ever hope to ask for. "I have you" he whispers meaning to have said something more endearing. Spencer agrees, a little confused and plants a sloppy kiss right on Brendon's eyebrow, "Mm not going anywhere". 

END 


End file.
